The Five Year Dresser

The latest NLP gathering was a themed event called “Come as you’ll be in 5 years time”. I thought this was a fascinating concept and although I was not able to attend, I was curious as to how I would have dressed had I gone. Given that I am already embarking on a new journey of sorts, I mused about how I would dress to reflect the next stage of my life.

The most obvious choice would be a wardrobe for a cooler climate and the possibility of wearing a different outfit for the four seasons. And yet, it is not only about the clothes – how could I express the personality that I would be presenting in 2016? Who was I planning to be? A wry smile crossed my face at the freedom of painting a new me, with no limitations or preconceptions. Could I become an Agatha Christie eccentric or perhaps I could morph into middle age with elegance and charm aka Audrey Hepburn or Amelia Earhart. The latter seemed more appealing. It would definitely attract more admiring glances, providing I could lose enough weight to pull it off!

I quickly dismissed both ideas as superficial because I was working from the outside in, rather than the other way around. It’s like setting goals. One needs to have an overall vision first before working on the details. So what was the vision for my future life? Sketching in the details I could see myself in a more public arena, promoting my book, running my workshops, attending literary events and playing amateur golf. Not much to work with, I sniggered. Seriously, whom did I know that I could model? If I at least looked the part, I might be believable and when we ‘act as if we already have something’, it’s amazing how that very thing seems to manifest. That thought made me feel quite excited and motivated – so far so good – a first step in the right direction according to the manifesting gurus.

I could sense a more elegant me, coming into my feminine essence and dressing to impress. Logging into the internet I googled “female author style icon’ and waited for the results. What a disappointment – all young punks – nothing in my age group. It seems that the last real era of true style icons was in the 1950s and they were mostly movie stars. I’d already nailed Audrey so tell me what’s new!

Googling again I changed the search to “elegant presenter”. The results did not give me any visual ideas, but I did discover something more interesting. Apparently we are considered elegant when we present ideas that are true to our values and beliefs i.e. being congruent wins kudos. Did that mean I could dress any which way and still be admired? I knew that wouldn’t work since I wanted to not only feel elegant but look it. One last chance at the net – where is that icon for me to model? Holding my breath I googled ‘Top Ten Authors 2010” and discovered that they all looked quite uninspiring, except for the obvious makeover from Women’s Own. I guess I will stick with my original plan – eat your heart out Audrey!

Janet Deeb

Cat up a Tree

It costs our Fire Services thousands of pounds each year to rescue domestic cats that have found themselves stuck up a tree. There are literally millions of such incidents around the world, but it is not only the cats that are to blame. In a recent article in the Metro (ref: Metro.co.uk) it was revealed that:

“Fed-up firefighters are threatening to charge to rescue cats from trees, free dogs from holes and help overweight people out of their homes. In six months, the Lancashire Fire Service had calls from 40 people stuck in their baths, 6 trapped in phone boxes and 8 who could not get out of their chairlifts. 13 youngsters got their heads stuck in railings and 15 were stranded in trees.”

To those of us who are not involved personally, we might find these incidents quite comic, but for the unfortunate people/animals directly involved, it is no joke. As for the fire services, such rescue operations are often hugely expensive and time consuming.

What is the reason for this strange phenomenon? Why would a cat attempt to climb a tree and then be too afraid to come back down? Why do some people have such poor spatial awareness that they can’t tell if the bath is too small or recognize that they are too fat to fit in the lift? Surely there is something built into the feline or human DNA to prevent us from exposing ourselves to such foolhardy situations or choices?

Admittedly there is little excuse for such human stupidity, though we all suffer from lack of common sense at some time or other in our lives. However, if we give ourselves time/space to think before we act, theoretically our finely tuned mental faculties should help us to make wiser choices. Unfortunately, we rarely have that time or space. The point is that when we are under severe pressure i.e. being chased, (aka colleagues after our job at work, too much work, competition etc.) or when distracted by a tasty reward i.e. the bird, (aka material gain or status) are we ever able to make intelligent choices? Choices that truly serve us, help us to be fulfilled and give us courage to climb the tree of life/career, or to come down to earth and move in another direction?

As human beings we at least have the privilege of being able to learn from our mistakes. We can do this by looking at the past, analyzing its success or failure and making a choice as to whether it is wise to follow the same path. Alternatively we can watch what others have done and choose to do it differently or even improve on their performance.

It is not difficult to see what drives a cat up a tree. It is either trying to catch a bird or being chased up there by a dog or other predator. Once up the tree, its innate sense of self-preservation kicks in and any movement from below, whether it be friendly or threatening, causes it to climb even higher. The higher it climbs, the greater the fear, until the cat becomes frozen to the spot and is unable to go anywhere.

When you look at your career, are you behaving like that cat up the tree? Blindly chasing after things, money or status, without really considering the consequences of your actions. Are you so far up that you are afraid to change direction in your life for fear of losing what you have, (aka things, money, status) even if it is not what you really want? Are you using (losing?) all your energy to fight the competition, with sleepless nights, fearing the worst, yet refusing to change your tactics or position? Is your life or career on hold, because you are afraid to move? Ask yourself, is it wise or even sane to continue doing the same thing, even though it gives you poor results? Why would you want to remain in a state of immobility, when any movement or change in behaviour could give you something better?

Through the powerful tools of NLP we help you to start moving, to recognize your strengths and discover what behaviour no longer serves you. We show you how to make positive choices for a more successful life style and/or career. We help you to remove your head from the railings and take a good look around you, so that you can see and do what is best for you and your life. You learn how to become free and fearless like the wild cat!

Janet Deeb
From an idea by Carol at Matrix

Reasons to be Cheerful

They called it the “Wedding of the Century”. Prince Harry said his mother would have been proud. The crowds in the streets were jubilant. The reporters were asking obvious questions, but we wanted to hear the answers. The people were there to celebrate, to forget the unhappiness and mediocrity of life, to be part of the Royal festivities.

You only had to look at the faces of the people in the crowd to know that they were indeed jubilant. Some of them had camped out for 3 days to get a front seat to view the Royal Couple. There were people of all ages and dominions, some had even travelled across the Atlantic to be there for this momentous occasion. Men and women, boys and girls, all wanted to be part of history, to be able to say that “I was there”.

The television programs began broadcasting from 8 a.m. and were still replaying the Royal scenes at midnight. It was as if the rest of the world no longer existed. Other news was put on hold, whilst we saw umpteen replays of the day’s events. It was one of the biggest and probably best publicity coups for the United Kingdom, since Charles and Diana’s wedding in 1981. Comparisons were naturally made between the two events and the most obvious conclusion was that William and Kate were very much a ‘couple’. Katherine, despite her ‘Middle Class’ background, carried herself with dignity and grace. She demonstrated a confidence and air of Royalty that certainly distinguished her from many a thoroughbred royal.

I was on a train when they were walking down the aisle. Watching it all from my friend’s iphone, we suddenly found ourselves surrounded by strangers. They crowded round the miniscule screen and we all laughed and joked together. Such a thing is normally unheard of in London, where you dare not speak to strangers for fear of being labelled as weird. It was a wonderful moment of togetherness and I will never forget it.

Everyone seemed to be caught up in the moment. There were organized and impromptu street parties all over the country. The cafes, restaurants and pubs were full to bursting as people found an excuse to celebrate. Even the most cynical could not fail to be caught up in the euphoria of the day.

How strange it is that we find so few excuses to celebrate life. How important it is to feel those good vibrations and to do it without fear, retribution or mockery. On the contrary there are too many opportunities to be sad, mad or just plane indifferent. And yet, such negative emotions only serve to divide humanity and make us more suspicious of each other.

Given the opportunity, all people like to rise to an occasion. I remember in the nineteen-sixties how the campaign in London, called “I’m backing Britain” took off in Carnaby Street. It became quite contagious. People were fed up with the negative labels that were being directed at the U.K. and they decided to fight back. It spawned an industry clothed in symbolism with the Union Jack prominently featured on T-Shirts, Crockery and anything that could sell the idea that Britain was great again.

To those people in the crowd and the hundreds of international TV reporters who broadcast the good news around the world, I say a loud BRAVO. Let’s find reasons to celebrate more often. They are good for morale and show that we can indeed be happy and united in the support of each other.