Choose your channel

This blog was inspired by an idea from Carol at www.matrix-training.com: When you wake up in the morning do you tune in to the latest news update (probably bad news and depressing), or switch on the radio! What’s the last thing you listen to before you go to bed? Imagine being able to choose your own radio and TV channel inside your head…..and for what purpose would you choose to watch bad news and listen to music you don’t like, when you can direct your own movies and go into your own recording studio to create your own music?

Are you going through a good phase in your life or have you had better times? What is it that seems to cause our good or bad moods? Is it the people or circumstances around us that put us into that fog, that give us the ‘blues’?

It’s not a secret that the way you start your day will usually have an enormous impact on the way it ends. Waking up late, falling out of bed, tripping over the cat and jumping into a cold shower (unless you are conditioned to it) is a sure fire route to disaster. The expression ‘to start the day as you mean to go on’ is a useful reminder that good starts are to be recommended to ensure a better chance of a happy ending. Otherwise we seem to spend the rest of the day either playing catch up or discovering that things can only get worse.

But bad days often begin as a result of a bad night. Not having enough sleep or being unable to sleep properly will most likely cause us to feel tired and grumpy. It’s obvious that getting the optimum amount of sleep is an important factor in our emotional wellbeing. However, going to bed in a good frame of mind is essential if you are to have any hope of waking up feeling the same. I like to do Jin Shin Jyutsu before I fall asleep and upon waking. It seems to put the body into a harmonious state which is more conducive to sleeping. It helps me to come back down to earth from my nocturnal travels, ready for the new day. Another powerful relaxer is to go into peripheral vision, by focusing your sight (eyes closed) between your eyebrows. This causes your mind to slow down and if you focus on something positive at the same time you will fall asleep more quickly.

The thoughts we think before we sleep, the movies we watch are powerful dictators of the dreams that follow. It is therefore very beneficial to have a routine before bed. One that puts us in a good frame of mind, where our thoughts are stilled and our body relaxed. If you go to sleep all hyper and anxious it is asking a lot of the body and the mind to switch off straight away.

I never realized the importance of taking a shower before bed until I understood how much negative energy we tend to absorb during the day. Apart from the obvious benefits for hygiene, the very act of standing under running water, removes all the stresses and strains we have taken on board and helps the body to relax.

If you remember the adage that ‘today is the first day of the rest of your life’, whatever happened yesterday is no longer important. It is what you do from this second onwards that shapes the present and ultimately the future. Therefore make that first thought upon awakening a positive one. That can be quite tricky if you haven’t practiced. That is why having a plan the night before is always helpful. It’s a bit like wanting that healthy salad for lunch. If you don’t prepare it the night before and have it ready in the fridge, the chances are you will find yourself snacking on fast food again. Decide how you would like to start your day. Create a mantra or a positive affirmation that you can repeat upon waking and you will find your mind will be quick to follow it.

Louise Hay says "If you can encompass your day, beginning to end, with loving thoughts, ...you will become one of those people who listens to stories of disaster rather than having them. When you wake up each morning, try saying to yourself, ‘Oh, good morning, Darling! Today is going to be fabulous!’ And that is what it will turn out to be.”

Tune into your own channel of positive vibrations, switch off those old negative vibes and create a truly fabulous day!

Are you ready for an upgrade

Last week I found myself sitting in a premier cinema in Dubai watching the inaugural presentation of the film ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. The fact that they had made a movie out of the book was sufficient enticement, though the added bonus of first class seating, with reclining chairs and waitress service, had my friend and I giggling at our bravado and the sheer decadence of the experience.

That started me thinking. I often treat others by giving them my full attention, in terms of time, support, interest etc., but how often do I treat myself to something special? When was the last time I bought myself a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates or had an exotic meal? Some of you might question the wisdom of such ‘egocentric’ behaviour, arguing that it is a waste of money or self-indulgent nonsense. However, I would bet that you wouldn’t think twice if someone else had offered to indulge you and was paying for it.

Why is it that we believe it is ok for someone else to indulge us, but when we treat ourselves we consider it wrong or sinful? This limiting belief usually stems from our cultural upbringing, where we are taught from an early age not to be selfish and to always think of others before ourselves. The New Age thinkers interpret this ‘self indulgence’ differently. Nowadays we are being encouraged to be selfish in a selfless way, because only when we love or appreciate ourselves, can we love and appreciate others.

Those of us who are reluctant to spend money or put some effort into the occasional indulgence, might ask where else are we holding back in our lives? Since money is only a form of energy exchange, our reluctance to spend tells us a lot about our general attitude. I used to laugh when a friend of mine started buying flowers for herself and making a romantic dinner for one. She had decided there was not enough romance in her life and determined to do something about it. Within a very short period of time she had a partner who was doing exactly the same for her. So I stopped laughing. You might call it coincidence, but it is demonstrated by Quantum Physics that what we put out we have to get back.

‘A Course in Miracles’ says that whatever is missing in your life is proportional to what you are not giving. Marianne Williamson paraphrases it in her book, ‘A Return to Love’, as ‘Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.’ Whenever I give something of myself, whether it be my time, money, effort, encouragement, compassion etc., it is always returned. It may not come from the same source but something always comes back. When we hold back, we stop this natural energy exchange and become like a silted up river.

Giving generates pleasure and sends a positive message to all the cells in our body that we are appreciated, which in turn sends out a similar signal to the universe. When we are happy we can’t help but share some of that good energy with others and it eventually comes back to us in some positive form or another and so the cycle continues.

There are many parables in the Bible, which encourage us to spend so that we shall receive, “For unto every one that hath shall be given and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.” St. Mathew 25.29. Here we are being admonished for holding on to what we have, instead of sharing with others so that our wealth multiplies. Even economic theory suggests that in times of slump, the government must inject more money into the economy to get it going again, rather than withholding it.

When we stop thinking lack and start behaving with an abundant attitude we tend to get abundance. Remember the story of Scrooge in ‘A Christmas Carol’ and how his miserly behaviour brought him misery and pain and by changing it to generosity of spirit, he became a different person? Now I am not suggesting that everyone should rush out and spend their last dime on some extravagance simply to prove that they love and value themselves or others. However, doing things that demonstrate the love, appreciation and respect you have for yourself are essential preludes to loving, appreciating and respecting others.

“Whether you want it or not, you’ll probably get it.” In other words, what we expect we get. Our expectations are instructions to the universe to deliver. Therefore, when we expect the best we get it, when we expect the worst we also get it. Prove it to yourself. Upgrade your thoughts about yourself and life will adjust itself accordingly. Think of yourself as a first class person and people will start treating you as if you really are.

Try this experiment. For the next week you will only accept the best for yourself. Think positive thoughts and do positive things. Whenever a negative thought rears its head, simply acknowledge it and throw it in the bin. Do your best to avoid negative people or always have a positive reframe for them. Keep a diary and write down all the positive things you noticed on a daily basis. Delete all the negatives from your memory. At the end of the week see how you feel. I predict that the payback will be worth far more than the payout.

Jumper Cables for Life

When your car stalled in the 1930s, you had to place a metal pole into the drive shaft through a hole in the front of the engine and hand crank it into action. It was quite an exhausting process and required a lot of energy and effort, not to mention time, to fire up the motor. It was certainly not for the faint hearted or those of a weak constitution. Consequently the driver would do everything he could to keep the engine running.

As the technology of the car evolved a more sophisticated process for starting the engine was developed and all it took was a turn of the key and you were on your way. Nowadays engines have become so efficient and reliable that they rarely break down and when they do the most common cause is a flat battery. Then all we need to restart the motor is a set of jumper cables connected to another running engine.

Wouldn’t it be handy if we could jump-start our life as easily as the car? Imagine energy fueling stations dotted around town, where we could plug into an energy source and top up our human battery in a jiffy.

I like to think of the tools of NLP as jumper cables. When my battery is flat and I have little or no motivation to move forward, I reach into my toolbox and pull out something to get me started again. All it takes is a small intervention here and there to get me firing on all cylinders.

Life can be quite exhausting and it is hardly surprising that we cannot always maintain a constant level of positivity and motivation. It is not a failure or deficiency, simply a fact of life that this human engine needs a little help to keep it running at optimum efficiency. We already know the positive effects of regular food and healthy nutrition on our physical body, but many of us neglect the emotional and mental top ups. There are more than 40 tools in NLP, which will get your life going again and enable you to recognize when your battery is getting flat before it actually runs out.

It didn’t take me long to appreciate the benefits of investing in regular services for my car. Breaking down in the middle of town, in temperatures of 40 degrees or more or having to risk life and limb in a taxi cab were sufficient motivators. The benefits of preventive maintenance for myself were not always so obvious, though the effects were far more dramatic.

The warning signs are always there, but sometimes we need someone else to point them out to us. When you get to that point where everything is a big effort, you don’t have the same clarity that you used to have and even simple decisions seem like enormous problems, it’s time to crank start the engine, and NLP has all the tools to help you do just that.


NLP works through the unconscious mind to tackle our limiting beliefs, change our negative scripts and reinstall positive strategies to move us forward and onwards to a fulfilling and motivating life. Through these powerful tools we can combat the common scourges of life and open up to our higher self, to regain our self-confidence and know that we can do or be exactly what we want and really ENJOY our lives at last.

A Yearly Phenomenon

Have you noticed how one’s perception of things changes around this time of the year? I have lived in the UAE for around 30 years and this strange phenomenon occurs without fail. When I return from a trip to UK or a holiday abroad, I see my life and circumstances in a completely different light.

It seems that distance has a lot to do with it. Getting on that airplane and flying for 7 hours is a powerful catalyst for change. As we find ourselves soaring into the air, we metaphorically begin to see life from a higher or bigger perspective. We move out of the detail and into the big picture.

On the outward journey I am usually excited and can’t wait to leave the heat of Dubai and move into the refreshing air of cooler climes. I seem to have more energy and I treat myself to long walks and visits to stately homes and ancient historical sites. I walk around lovingly preserved gardens and natural vegetation and I get this wonderful calm and peaceful feeling. This lasts for a few weeks and then a surfeit of sight seeing takes its toll and I can’t wait to get home. On the return journey I think about all the positive aspects of my life in Dubai. Minor irritations are replaced with major advantages and the holiday experience fades into the background, as I eagerly anticipate getting back into my old routine.

Opening the door of my apartment, I immediately notice that my normally bright and shiny lounge now looks dull and dusty. Somehow the layout of the furniture is wrong and I feel compelled to move chairs around and reorganize the place. Even my clothes look different. Those favourite outfits that I was quite content to wear all year suddenly appear faded and boring. The strange thing is that my friends can’t see what I am talking about. Everything in my flat looks the same to their eyes. So what has changed? Is it me or is it my perception of things that has altered?

In NLP we learn how we all have our own map of the world. This is coloured by our own personal filters, which in turn are determined by our experiences, family and social upbringing. In other words we all see things differently according to these unique influences. If I think of it in that way, my changed perception makes perfect sense. My trip out of the country naturally exposed me to new things, new people, new ideas, and a new environment. Suddenly my filter is automatically affected. It has been updated. That is why when I come back home my furniture looks quite different.

I am happy to accept this phenomenon because it is stimulating. I go out and buy new clothes or think about different ways of wearing the old ones. The process of moving things around, allows me to see things from another angle. I liken this to “spring cleaning” fever. It may not happen in springtime but the effect is the same. It is somehow rejuvenating and a necessary part of man’s healthy evolution. Those of us who recognize the signals and allow ourselves to be moved by these changes, begin the “new cycle of our life” with renewed energy and enthusiasm. Those who do not change remain stuck in their old ways and lack motivation to move forward.

NLP gives us powerful tools to alter our paradigms about each other. As we let go of old habits and perceptions, we grow in understanding and compassion, which in turn leads to more peace and happiness. In the same way that moving furniture around allowed me to see my surroundings with a new perspective, we can reposition our thoughts and perceptions to gain fresher insights and different outlooks on life. When we let go of the old we make room for new, more positive life scripts and this is when we really start to change for the better.

Janet Deeb
August 2010
Website: http://www.blazelightaround.co.uk

It's all in the weather, isn't it?

No matter how sophisticated we become in this hi tech world there is one thing we never seem to have any control over and that is the weather. If you live in the UK you will notice that most of us are obsessed and emotionally controlled by it. There is either too much rain and we are flooded out, or a total ban on hosepipes and all the grass is dead. It’s too hot or too cold, too windy or completely airless. Basically there is never an ideal combination to suit the British palate.

           

There are various theories as to why we can’t stop talking about it. The most obvious one is that it is a safe topic. It’s hard to get into an argument about the wind or the rain and this neutral ground gives us an excuse to communicate with strangers. Walking in my mother’s garden this morning I was struck by the effect of global warming on this country. The grass is so parched it looks like a straw mat and there is very little hope that it will ever return to its former green splendour. We haven’t had rain for about 2 months and the forecast is not hopeful for any rain in the next week.

It’s not the sun that causes the grass to die, because I live in Dubai where we have green grass all year round and the temperatures there often reach the high 40s. What keeps it so green is the constant watering. In the same way that man can survive without food for a few weeks, without water he will die within days, so the garden needs H₂0 to flourish. 

Water is the elixir of life. The water composition of man varies between 50 - 75% and in order to be fit and healthy we need a constant daily top up of 1-1/2-2 litres per day.  Apparently it is not just the grass that is dehydrated, but modern western man is also suffering. Studies have proven that a large percentage of the population does not drink enough water and that is why we lack concentration and are so tired all the time.

There are lots of expressions in the English language connected with the weather. When we are angry about something we feel hot and bothered. When we are miserable we are labeled a wet blanket. When we have no feelings at all we are as cold as ice. To cheer ourselves up we need to walk on the sunny side of the street. Sunlight or sunshine is always synonymous with happiness and good cheer, whereas the dark clouds herald in hard times and depression. It is no coincidence that we have created these expressions to match our mood, for we are definitely affected by the weather. Or are we?

When I moved to a country where the climate is generally hot all year round and there are no distinct seasons, people used to tell me that I would miss the change in the weather and that it was not natural. Well, I have been there for over 30 years and have discovered that I enjoy the sunlight, and I adjust to the lack of obvious seasons by making the change inwardly.  I have discovered that if I am happy inside, the rain or the clouds on the outside are just another backwash to the picture of my life, they are not the main picture or the determining emotion.

Most of us are aware of the power of inner happiness. If we think back over our lives and remember those times when we were truly happy, do we recall rain clouds or dull weather? Probably not, or if we do, it is usually with a positive association. Imagine being able to switch on that good weather feeling whenever you felt like it, instead of having to wait for the sun to come out or the wind to blow. How much happier and content would we be with our lives, living in that state of positive chi. 


One way of doing it is through the tools of NLP*. They offer us that “light switch”, a way to tap into the power of positive vibrations, a fair weather scene for all our days. Perhaps that is why this modality, which was developed in the ‘70s is having a resurgence in popularity.  It’s no longer a question of whether to be happy or sad, but how often. How would it feel to take back that control? Maybe we would talk less about the weather if we were able to turn that switch on ourselves.

http://blazelightaround.co.uk






*Neuro Linguistic Programming

References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_water

http://www.health4youonline.com/article_dehydration.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survival_skills

Cosmic Fog

Have you ever wondered why we surround ourselves with so many things in our lives? How much do we really need to function comfortably in this world? Does having more make us more; make us better, safer or happier? There is always enormous pressure to buy more with the promise that our lives will be perfect once we own this object or that outfit. We fall for that trick and later discover that it did not work. We are still dissatisfied and yet we continue to keep trying to make it work, we keep buying more and more. A never-ending cycle of illusion. Am I alone in believing that less is best?

My motive for my life is use it or lose it and I practice that in everything, from the obvious bric-a-brac that is so easy to accumulate, to clothes, Jewellery, DVDs, crockery, cutlery, books, papers and even food. My fridge at the beginning of the week is full of fresh food and drinks. Enough to last the week and I try to use everything before I venture back into the supermarket. I regularly tidy up my wardrobe, and at least once a year I clear out all my documents and bills etc. What does it do for me? I feel lighter. My life is simpler. It is easier to find things as I now have less choice. I spend less time in the shops looking for replacement items and more time on things that matter, that make me happy. Holding on to old invoices and records of the past simply keeps me stuck in the past. It’s amazing how liberating it is to throw away financial history.

I have always taken great pride in keeping everything around me neat and tidy. So, it came as a real shock when I discovered that I was hoarding books and training notes. It was as if I did not trust myself to remember what I had read or learned and was intent on holding on to every piece of information I could. The day I spring cleaned my filing cabinet and book shelf was quite a shock to my system. Having to let go of all that "learning". Would I ever be the same again?

In Reiki we are taught to have an attitude of gratitude for all things. I like to think that even the sofa wants to be appreciated for its role in my life. Who am I to say that just because it is not defined as a “living” thing, that it does not need to be recognised for its role in existence. It’s obvious that running water, electricity and waste disposal are services that we definitely cannot live comfortably without, and yet how often do we take them for granted? When the taps run dry and the lights go out, our angry indignation that we have been denied a basic right, highlights our ingratitude. It’s only when they are not there that we realize how much we take them for granted. Think about it. Take a tour around your house and thank each and every item for its contribution. If you find when you get to the fifth set of saucepans or 8 tins of beans that perhaps there are too many items sitting there, doing nothing, and often exceeding their sell by date, perhaps you could consider downsizing!

Even in Feng Shui it is recognized that clutter in the house causes energetic stagnation. It’s obvious that a full glass will spill over when we try to add more water, so why do we keep on pouring? The same applies to other areas of our lives. Someone who has taken on too much, in terms of work or emotional stress, will eventually collapse. It is the natural law of nature that all things need to be in balance. The fairy stories of our childhood teach us through characters like “Goldilocks and the three bears” that the bed should not be too soft, or too hard, but just right, in other words, in perfect balance. Imagine if the trees held on to their leaves or the apples refused to ripen.

Clutter is not only in the things around us, but also in our heads. Information overload can be just as damaging as hoarding material things. I read somewhere that the average Western person receives more information in one day than our ancestors used to read in one year and it is increasing at a rapid rate. This information does not cause clutter by itself. It is the things that we mean to do with it and postpone, the thoughts that we constantly think and don’t let go of, the intentions we decide to have and never action,that cause blockages in our minds. All this amounts to a huge dam in our flow of energy and is responsible for more modern dis-eases, like stress, than most people realize.

What is fog? A collection of unhealthy and polluted air, which hangs around and prevents us from seeing clearly. Imagine that fog as your thoughts. The more you allow them to stagnate the blinder you become to the possibilities in your life. The negative words we use pollute our mind and ultimately the atmosphere. We all have an experience of someone using derogatory words towards us. Do they help us to see more clearly or do they contribute to the foggy haze of fear and confusion in our lives?

There is a wonderful exercise in coaching, which we call “Feng Shui of the Mind”. It helps us to identify and weed out the excess in all areas of our lives. Once clear, we are free to move forward in positive and enlightening ways, which not only help us individually but collectively. It’s simple. It can be done immediately and it costs nothing. Yet the savings in our health and happiness are enormous.

De-clutter yourself today and contribute to the greening of our society and the cleansing of the cosmic fog. Go on! I dare you.

Biographies are ghastly things

Biographies are ghastly things. They place us in a box. We have to live up to the expectation of the things we’ve done before and qualifications we have been given. That is why I have a problem with my CV. I refuse to be defined by the “Corporate Voice” because it labels me by what I have done and leaves no room for what I might like to do or what I have not yet done. I admit that it gives others an indication of my potential skill, but it also closes the door of their mind to anything else I might be capable of doing. It traps me in my old life, and neatly confines me to stay where I am, instead of being a platform for growth and development.

 

Biographies also stress me out. They force me to remember my past, precisely what I was doing, for whom I was doing it and how successful I was at it (i.e. references etc.). Information I have long since left behind in the dark recesses of my mind.

 

I believe that you and I are more than the sum total of our work experience. and should certainly not be defined by someone else’s impressions or projections. I am me, the I AM presence that sees and hears and senses and knows that these labels are only that. The problem is that labels stick and are hard to remove. Then once they have been removed, a new label is then applied by society to fill the void left by the old one. So we have a never-ending battle of sticking and removing, being this, being that, being labeled. I prefer to just BE.

 

I would rather be labeled by my writing, my poetry, or my ideas; but only those that are current, because they represent what I am thinking in the minute, in the moment of writing.  They do not, however, define me.

 

CVs have become identity tags. Would you object to having a metal tag sewn into your DNA? People can now find you on the web, know your life history through your biography and call you on it whenever they want to test its truth or your integrity. Suppose I got the dates wrong, or even the details, will I be labeled a fraudster, a trickster, a fake?

 

Think not on what a person has done, but what they are now or what they want to be. Think not on the qualifications they acquired. They probably do not remember them anymore.  Think not that the person in front of you is still the same person they where 1,2,5 or more years ago.  Apart from the obvious physical changes, we all evolve emotionally, spiritually and mentally. What I believed yesterday may be irrelevant today. Life is changing so rapidly that we can’t stand still, even if we want to.  That CV is a flash photo, a snap shot of a moment in time when you did a particular job, lived a particular life. You may, or may not, have enjoyed it or wanted it, and may have just happened upon it.  Most of the work I did I just “happened upon” or was offered to me because others thought I would make a good job of it. In those days I never thought to ask myself “Is this what I really want? Is this really me? Do I want this on my CV?”

 

What is a CV? Is it really a Curriculum Vitae or Programme of our Life. Does it include everything that we are? Bio-data is probably a better description, because Bio implies some form of Biography, or story with Biological data i.e. blond haired, green eyed, female facilitator of human experiences.

 

So why do I hate writing them? Could it be that I don’t really believe in the labels or the implication that my past history defines what I can do or am allowed to do now? For those of you who came to this site, does it matter where I was educated, with whom I worked or whether I was good at my job? Do I need a CV to write about spiritual enquiry? I think not! As Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am”. So what am I?

 

Suffice it to say that right now, in this moment, I AM A HUMAN BEING WHO CARES and that, Ladies and Gentlemen is my CV or as I prefer to call it my “CARING VOICE” in this life.

 

Just One of Those Days!

Have you ever had just one of those days when you feel like you don’t fit in? Not with your friends, not with yourself, not with life. Is there one thing, you ask yourself, that I can do that will rekindle the passion for life that was mine last week?

Oh the perversity of our existence. Just when you thought you’d got it taped, your whole world falls apart and, with steam pumping out of your ears, you want to scream “Get me out of HERE.” Only no one is there to listen, let alone respond.

So what started this maelstrom of emotions, this bubbling volcano of negative expletives? Actually, I think it began with power. I was losing it (my power, that is) because I thought (assumed) someone else was stealing mine. This, of course, made me extremely angry, though I suppressed that response, instead of expressing it. How noble of me to swallow the anger. After all, there is already too much out there. Right? Not so, you foolish one!

Carrying a burden of self-pity, or disguised anger, I ventured into the wild world and bingo, got tested by another hapless human, who pressed all my buttons in the field of tolerance, patience and compassion. Yet more anger to add to the bonfire!

The net result was a huge wave of depression, eating away at my self-esteem and taking the wind out of my sails. Staggering along, intent on gaining nothing from everything, the prophesy of self fulfillment was realized. Only this time the anger was even greater, and the depression far deeper.

Now that I come to think of it, or write about it, I realize, these experiences were all there to test my ability to use the tools I have been teaching in my workshops. Well! There is nothing like grounding your learning in self-exploration to prove the tools actually work!

Rule #1: Don’t take things personally

Rule #2: Don’t make assumptions

Rule #3: Nobody deliberately sets out to hurt you. They are only doing the best they can with the tools they have

I obviously forgot all 3 rules. In hindsight if I had remembered those rules I would not have been so upset by the power issue and would have felt compassion instead of anger for my perceived aggressors or those poor misguided fellow “in-human” beings.

Of course, my response came directly from my EGO. That dreadful character who is always behind my miserable moods. How is that? You may ask. It’s simple really!

I only take things personally because my EGO wants to be top dog and everything revolves around ME. Secondly, I only make assumptions (usually negative ones) because I don’t have the courtesy to ask the other party about their intentions. I, therefore, make my own judgments without any other evidence. Surely, that would not stand up in a court of law! And lastly, my EGO is always on the defensive, and I immediately assume that whatever they did was deliberate. Of course, all of this is completely MAD when you look at it in hindsight and it hurt me far more than the other person, who is probably wandering around completely oblivious to the havoc they instigated.

Now that I know what is going on, I can only laugh at my folly and dispassionately release all attachment to the moods I myself created; and get on with living in the NOW – with a brand new and positive attitude to life and all its annoying little tests. Excellent! Now that’s settled. What’s for tea and who wants to join me?

Feb 2010